Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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