I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
