No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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