it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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