I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
