so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
now i know why i became what i already was.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
