I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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