finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
