Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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