I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
