This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
