Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
