i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize