The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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