There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
they're like a gay fantastic four
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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