You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
His nipple licking is glorious
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