Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize