I wanna passion pit in your ass
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
