if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Operation Purity has been aborted
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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