Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
