Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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