mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
