I'm so fucking centered right now
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
