Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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