SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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