mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
