What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize