some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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