My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
