she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize