just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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