he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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