In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
