what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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