I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Did I show you my penis last night?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
