like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
