I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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