no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
porn star boner night. come get it.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
