Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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