Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
is that a dick in a sweater?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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