college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize