I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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