He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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