OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
