You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
