Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize