i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
