All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
