Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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