They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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