is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
