if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
