just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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