he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
3pm strippers are depressing
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
