Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
