Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
