Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize