All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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