Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
