my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
