How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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