Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
