I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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