didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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