She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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