I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
