Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
