Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Just high enough for therapy.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize