Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
