just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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