Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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